Jen Juneau
January 24, 2017 11:30 AM

 

One big lesson Jewel wants to instill in her son is the idea that he will always be evolving as a person — and for him to know that that’s okay.

“My greatest wish for my child is that he learns that he’s constantly able to reinvent himself,” the singer — who is mom to son Kase Townes, 5½, with ex Ty Murray  — tells PEOPLE.

“I think that life is refining who you are through time — becoming more yourself with time,” adds Jewel, 42. “And who you dream yourself to be as a child is very different that who you’ll hope you are as a teenager, and that’s very different that who you hope you are as a 20-year-old. Because we have more life experiences.”

She continues, “And I think sometimes people forget to give themselves the internal permission to keep saying, ‘You know what? This outer world doesn’t feel exactly like who I am. I want to redo things.’ ”

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The mother of one has been candid about her split from Murray, whom she was with for 16 years and married to for six, and the challenges that come along with co-parenting their son.

One thing that has likely made the transition a little smoother? Jewel’s self-professed best quality as a parent.

“Hopefully, my honesty. I’m very direct,” she says. “I tell my son that he doesn’t belong to me — he belongs to himself, and I’m here to mentor him and that I’m in charge right now, but that he’ll be his own person one day.”

RELATED VIDEO: Jewel Explains How She Makes Co-Parenting Work With Ex-Husband Ty Murray

When asked what her biggest regret as a parent is, Jewel touches on how her divorce has affected the family.

“I think going through a divorce was really hard. It wasn’t what I wanted,” admits the “Who Will Save Your Soul” singer, who is currently dating American football quarterback Charlie Whitehurst, 34.

“I don’t think any parent goes into a relationship and a marriage and having a child thinking of a divorce one day.”

“And so we try to do it with as much humanity as possible, and we try and make sure we always think of our child first as we co-parent,” she adds. “Which can be challenging, but the child deserves nothing less than that.”

“I don’t know if that’s a regret. One of the reasons I got divorced, though, is when I looked at my child, I realized I wasn’t the woman I wanted him to know. I had to change some things about myself.”

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