1 of 10
"You look like you work in a Hasidic meth lab."
– Natalie Portman, to Ben Stiller (dressed as Joaquin Phoenix), while presenting Best Cinematography
2 of 10
"Has anybody ever fainted here? Because I might be the first one."
– Penélope Cruz, breathlessly accepting her first Oscar, for Best Supporting Actress (for Vicky Cristina Barcelona)
3 of 10
"Say whatever is on your mind because you know we have a seven-second delay. But if you win, we switch to a 20-minute delay."
– Host Hugh Jackman, to Best Actor nominee Mickey Rourke – who's been known to drop the F-bomb in acceptance speeches
4 of 10
"She's beautiful, and I love her, and she can like, adopt me if she wants to."
– Miley Cyrus, on Best Actress nominee Angelina Jolie, to E! host Ryan Seacrest
5 of 10
"Don't fall in love with me."
– Steve Martin to Tina Fey, playing out their own form of a soap opera while presenting Best Screenplay Adaptation
6 of 10
"I had to become a vampire to find the right woman."
– Twilight star Robert Pattinson, presenting a montage of romantic moments in the year's films
7 of 10
"Think I could make this into a pipe?"
– Pineapple Express star Seth Rogen, marveling at the Oscar statuette in a skit with famed cinematographer Janusz Kaminski and James Franco (not pictured) about the year's comedy films
8 of 10
"On set they can be your mother, your father, even your therapist. They can even manage hostage negotiations when a certain actor is having trouble coming out of their trailer. Not that I'm speaking about myself. But you know who you are, Ben Stiller."
– Reese Witherspoon, praising the leadership of directors before presenting the Best Director Oscar
9 of 10
"How did he do it? How for so many years did Sean Penn get all those jobs playing straight men?"
– Robert De Niro, introducing Penn's Best Actor nomination as gay politican Harvey Milk
10 of 10
"I want to be very clear that I do know how hard I make it to appreciate me, often."
– Sean Penn, referring to his reputation as being notoriously difficult, while accepting the Best Actor award for Milk