• Monokini Tucked in, because it’s classier that way. • PCD belt In case you weren’t sure she was a Pussycat Doll. • Plaid bloomers and black boots Inspired by Vivienne Westwood? Or pirate wenches?
• Headpiece … or bunny ears? • Fingerless gloves Revolutionary at 25, not at 51. • Boots We’re sure Jesus Luz thought they were cool. He was also in preschool when Pretty Woman came out.
• Scarf Someone call for help! A red pleather python is strangling her! • Hammer pants We just wanted to say hammer pants. • Stilettos Very cute. Too bad they’re paired with hammer pants. (Ha! We said it again!)
• Retro hair Because this is how women dressed in the ’20s. • Dress With a nude underlay so she could leave something to the imagination. • Lace-up stilettos To add a graceful ballerina touch.
Helena Bonham Carter
• Messy updo Yo, nestless birds—open house at Helena’s! • Purse Recessionista tip: This doubles as an Easter basket. • Pink and black skirt & matching tights To quote Boomerang: You got to coordinate!
• Crochet sweater Granny chic … if you’re an Olsen. • Oversize aviators Hipster chic … if you’re Paris Hilton circa 2007. • Leggings and flip-flops L.A. chic … if you’re a Hills girl getting a mani-pedi.