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Where Did They Go Wrong?

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Let Us Count the Ways …

Aubrey O’Day

1. Scary eyelashes alert!

Playing up the eyes is one thing, but not when one’s lashes resemble caterpillars in a police lineup.

2. Tulle Much

Did the Dress Fairy drink too many Pomtinis and throw up this feathered, sequined, frothy fabric-ed monstrosity?

Patricia Arquette

3. Braids and fedora

Style inspiration: Pocahontas or Indiana Jones? Clearly it should be neither.

4. Female Pattern Blindness

Five. That’s how many prints she’s wearing. And that’s not even counting the …

5. Aqua and orange boots

We. Are. Speechless.

Mariah Carey

6. Monogrammed jacket

In case someone else loses a white-and-pink satin cropped jacket, Mariah will know this one is hers.

7. Short shorts

Good thing she’s not a catcher.

8. White platforms

Because wearing stilettos on a baseball field would be wrong.

Livia Giuggioli

9. Black beaded choker

Was this supposed to match the black beady eyes on Mrs. Colin Firth’s dress?

10. Happy face dress

Sure, it’s making a statement. An awful, unintentionally hilarious one.

11. Bag and shoes

Understated accessories let the dress shine … and shine …

Lil Mama

12. Bangs

Like Suri’s but not as cute.

13. Striped heart dress

Now we know where Whitman’s Sampler Valentine’s Day boxes go to die. Mint green nails add that certain je ne sais quoi.

14. Bedazzled Converses

In case you don’t notice her when she walks by.

Emile Hirsch

15. Scruff Enough

Scraggly hair and a patchy beard … sexy!

16. Black tie

Colonel Sanders, where art thou? Because you’re the only one who can work this look.

17. White shirt, vest and jacket

Emile recommends the poached salmon this evening.