Oliver Jones
May 13, 2013 12:00 PM

Quahog Manor

Downton Abbey‘s Michelle Dockery will cameo on Family Guy. If only Stewie could realize his dream of becoming Lord Grantham’s footman.

Return to Form

Straight Off the Spice Rack

Mel C and Emma dress in classic Sporty Spice and Baby Spice get-ups for a costume party. Girls, while you’re back in ’94, remember: Buy Apple.

Tie Me Up

Jessica Alba‘s post-baby body secret: a corset. As far as 16th-century beauty regimens go, it beats leeches.

Swift Transaction

Taylor reportedly pays $17 million in cash for a Rhode Island mansion. One person never ever breaking up with the singer? Her broker.

La Di Da

Diane Keaton giggles about nine-hour tantric sex on Ellen: “The wine isn’t helping.” That’s what he said?

Pledge Master

Actor Michael Shannon’s intense reading of a profanity-laced sorority letter turns it from Legally Blonde to Scarface.

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