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The Gospel According to Mel

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And lo, Mel Gibson created The Passion of the Christ, a heartfelt, blood-soaked hymn to Jesus’ last hours (starring Jim Caviezel). And the critics rose up, some calling it anti-Semitic while others hailed it as truth. Its ancient Aramaic was like babel unto many, but in Hollywood mammon doth talk loud and clear: $600 million in worldwide grosses. Gibson, who hath begotten seven children, was said to be spending $15 million of his good fortune on Mago, a 5,400-acre island in Fiji. Hath he found heaven on earth?