Dominique Swain VS Milla Jovovich
THE BATTLE: PEARLS
The only reason I can think of for Swain (at an L.A. film awards show in June) to be wearing these on her head is that she couldn’t figure out the clasp. Jovovich, at the Cannes Film Festival in May, manages to make the classic necklace look hip. Only oysters wear them better.
Catherine Zeta-Jones VS Emma Jones
THE BATTLE: LIMO EXITS
Zeta-Jones executes a dazzlingly choreographed, dignified, sexy arrival at a Monte Carlo award gala in May. British actress Jones, at a London luncheon in June, looks more like she’s popping out of a cake.
Claudia Schiffer VS Hilary Shepard
THE BATTLE: PRAIRIE LOOK
Supermodel Schiffer, at a polo match in England last June, looks breezy, easy and comfortable—not like she’s about to chum butter. Actress Shepard, at an L.A. movie premiere in July, makes this sweet, countrified look too sexy—like something you’d wear on MTV’s Spring Break in Nebraska.
Vivica A. Fox VS Mary J. Blige
THE BATTLE: SUPERFLY
Fox, at an L.A. premiere last December, is trying to look fly, but she hasn’t even left the ground. She doesn’t have the street cred to pull this off. It’s over-the-top and costumey. Blige, at an MTV awards show in Germany last November, is completely committed to this look because she is this look—total attitude. Her album may be titled No More Drama, but she sure wasn’t talking about her clothes.
THE BATTLE: VICTORIAN BLOUSE
Crow’s shirt is a fussy version of the trend, and the singer, at an L.A. premiere last November, ends up looking like a young Granny Clampett. Watts, at a different L.A. premiere in November, knows all about something old, something new, and jazzes up her simpler top with sleek, modern trousers and accessories.
Britney Spears VS Pink
THE BATTLE: LEATHER
Both pop divas, at last month’s MTV Video Music Awards, are wearing just about enough leather for a pair of gloves. Was Spears planning on doing a Village People tribute? Hers is pure costume. And Pink’s vampy, minuscule stage outfit looks like Lily Munster’s underwear.
Heather Mills VS Ming-Na
THE BATTLE: LACE
Naughty Mrs. Sir Paul McCartney wears honeymoon lingerie to the Oscars in March—before her June wedding. That’s what it looks like, anyway, when a busy, sexy fabric is torn in two. Ming-Na’s ensemble works because she keeps it spare and elegant at a December fashion show in L.A. Smolder factor: 10.
P. Diddy VS Himself
THE BATTLE: TUXEDO
The rap impresario (at left, in Saint-Tropez in July) takes a rare tumble from fashion’s heights in this ill-fitting Sammy Davis Jr. castoff and too-big tie. But does Diddy dazzle at the Golden Globes in L.A. last January? Yup. This suit fits like a glove with just the right amount of flash and dash. So suave it hurts!
Garcelle Beauvais-Nilon VS Peri Gilpin
THE BATTLE: RIBBON BELTS
Beauvais-Nilon, at an N.Y.C. movie premiere in June, is stunning. The dainty band ties this look together and enhances the delicacy of the dress. Someone give Gilpin’s sash a shot of Viagra. At least tighten it! Better yet—she should have saved the ribbon for all her holiday gift-wrapping needs instead of wearing it to an April awards show in L.A.
Jennifer Love Hewitt VS Charlize Theron
THE BATTLE: PONCHO
Hewitt’s big, sloppy top, worn to an L.A. premiere in April, somehow exposes more than it covers and calls to mind an unfinished macramé project. Smart Theron, at a May magazine gala in L.A., makes her pretty floral version the focal point of her outfit. This simple hippie-chic ensemble is a turn-on.
Sela Ward VS Kate Beckinsale
THE BATTLE: BOWS
Frankly, my dears, does scarlet-clad Ward give a damn at last January’s Golden Globe Awards in L.A.? What are supposed to be fun accents look more like slipknots holding her dress together. Beckinsale, at the June MTV Movie Awards in L.A., knows bows. Here, they’re playful, feminine details, and she looks like a tastefully wrapped box of bonbons.
Kate Hudson VS Willa Ford
THE BATTLE: DRESS OVER PANTS
Hudson takes this pairing, at the recent MTV Video Music Awards, and makes it funky, chic and hip. It looks like she just tossed the outfit together, and the overall effect is cool and casual. Singer Ford, at a July music competition in N.Y.C., wears Juliet on top and Romeo below. It’s a romantic look gone tragically awry.
Trina VS Kelis
THE BATTLE: RAINBOW STYLE
Singer Trina evidently wandered onto a paintball field and got caught in the crossfire on her way to the BET Awards in June. I hope it all comes out in the wash. What a Technicolor nightmare! And R&B singer Kelis’s top (at a New York City party last month) must have boiled over and dripped onto her pumps. It’s melting! It’s melting!
The Sweetest Thing VS Sex and the City
THE BATTLE: THE BEST DRESSED CAST
Thing’s stars (from left, Christina Applegate, Cameron Diaz and Selma Blair), at their film’s premiere in N.Y.C., are the anti-Destiny’s Child. They each give basic black their own twist without looking stagey. The pretty City girls (from left, Sarah Jessica Parker, Kristin Davis, Cynthia Nixon and Kim Cattrall) are the Fresh Four at their July season premiere in N.Y.C. Polished and perfectly coordinated—even their tans match.
Kylie Minogue VS Lara Flynn Boyle
THE BATTLE: SCARF
Minogue, at an L.A. film festival, models the latest must-have accessory for celebs with whiplash! Boyle’s neckerchief, at an L.A. premiere, is ladylike and 100 percent old Hollywood glamor.
Bo Derek VS Cedric the Entertainer
THE BATTLE: FEDORA
With a face like Derek’s, aglow at the Kentucky Derby, why hide it under a table-size topper? Mad Hatter Cedric’s lid works (at an L.A. movie premiere) because it fits well and he wears it with panache.