C’mon, Alice, look us in the eye. Your head is hanging down on your chest on the album cover, and after listening to this failed comeback attempt we know why. Recruiting Desmond (Bon Jovi) Child to produce the record and co-write most of the tracks showed good instinct but, alas, most of your collaborations are just shameless Bon Jovi knockoffs. To your credit, you got sober, so chalk one up in the personal growth category. And nobody is expecting anything as big as 1972’s School’s Out these days.
But most of Trash comes off as a desperate, blatantly commercial stab at the charts. There’s one track—”Spark in the Dark”—that at least pulsates with a convincing sense of sexual excitement. Most of this stuff, though, is closer to the contrived, pent-up mush you dole out on the monument to subtlety “I’m Your Gun.” (“Load my clip and lick your lips/This is gettin’ fun.”) And what happened to your voice? Who would have thought we would be looking back fondly to the days when you chopped up dolls on stage and draped Cachita the boa constrictor around your wispy frame? At least it gave us something to look at while you cranked out the noise. (Epic)