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The Faux-K Cupid profile
Native of Colombia, now the highest-paid actress on TV, seeks man who will appreciate all of me. As I told Women’s Health, “I’ve always been known for my boobs, but it pisses me off, because I do also have a great ass!” Ideal mate will love posing for paparazzi, Kmart clothing and Ed O’Neill. No politicians, por favor.
Six things I could never do without
• Thong bikinis
• My hair colorist
• A Spanish-to-English dictionary
• A bra (sometimes)
• CoverGirl cosmetics
• The agent who got me all these endorsement deals
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I was in The Smurfs movie.
Last online: Yesterday
Body type: Perfect
Drinks: Diet Pepsi
Relationship status: Newly single
Income: Between $25-$50 million
Offspring: One son, wants more