ABC(Daily, 11:30 a.m. ET)
A few years ago, one morning show’s semi-regulars included a twinkie homebody who demonstrated how to make pencil holders out of empty toilet-paper rolls or spare tires out of bleach bottles or evening gowns out of navel lint or stupid things like that: artsy-craftsy, artsy-crappy nightmares. Now ABC brings you an entire show filled with nothing but such gift-shop uselessness. Robb (Entertainment Tonight) Weller and Sandy Hill, Mr. and Ms. Bland, play hosts to guests who teach you how to do the sort of things that require, Sandy says, only “a little imagination and a little elbow grease”—things that inspire Robb to gasp, “Wow! Neat stuff!” In one show, for instance, a woman tells you how to make your own horseradish—if you happen to have a root. Another guest insists that anybody, even you, can draw. And another goes to a house that Home is remodeling to etch a dorky cactus design on the shower doors. These people simply do not have enough to do with their time. These people make Barbie and Ken and Tupperware parties look positively punk.