CBS (Wednesdays, 8:30 p.m. ET)
Premiere: Wednesday, Oct. 3, 8:30 p.m. ET
It is the worst of The Monkees spliced with a bad Mickey Rooney movie (“Hey, kids, let’s make a video!”). All that Dreams tries to be is a TV version of Flashdance, which is not exactly ambitious—but it can’t meet even that minimal expectation. A bunch of low-talent teens from Philadelphia have a band. They want to be famous, but from the look of the pilot, all they’ll be is canceled. Their singing isn’t bad, but their dialogue is. “Bummerama!” exclaims one. “You are a total party animal!” wows another. “I mean, music is my life!” gushes another. All the exclamation marks in the script and the guffaws on the laugh track don’t help. These are the sorts of Dreams that are caused by eating cold pizza at bedtime.