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Men in the Doghouse

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So long, ’09, you’re outta here! We’ll not see you again. But just a sec, let’s take a break And speak of misbehaving men.

We had our share of louts and cads. You can’t deny it; it’s a fact! It’s always thus, we must admit: Some guys just don’t know how to act!

Take Tiger Woods, now there’s a shock: Golfer, gentleman, not a hound. Or so we thought, until we learned This golfer liked to play around.

And Letterman’s our king of snark. But then one night he didn’t laugh; He told the truth. It wasn’t pretty. He’d spent late nights with the staff!

And Richard Heene, the hot-air guy? He sent us on a wild-goose chase To save his child up in the sky—Which turned out not to be the case.

Chris Brown’s another lovely gent Guaranteed to make the list. He’s really such a manly man: He punched Rihanna with his fist.

Let’s award a prize to Kanye West That won’t put him in a towering rage And make him grab the mic. Let’s call it “Biggest Faux Pas on a Stage.”

Jon Gosselin is a dad of eight, Who’s about to be a single. For Kate that has to be the nicest Gift from old Kris Kringle.

So here we are, the year is done; Let’s look ahead to ’10 And raise a glass and dream a dream Of better times and better men.