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Desperate Housewives by the Numbers

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Number of cardigans worn by Bree: 9

Number of meals Bree has prepared: 4

Number of people who know about Gabrielle’s affair with John the gardener: 6 (Mama Solis; John’s friend; John’s mom; Susan; Father Crowley; and little Ashley Bukowki from down the street)

Number of places we’ve seen Gabrielle having sex with John: 4 (dining room table; her bedroom; her bathtub; John’s bedroom. They were only making out in the shed)

Number of places we’ve seen Gabrielle having sex with her husband, Carlos: 2 (in bed and in the bathtub)

Number of times we’ve seen any of the other housewives having sex: 1, we think (Susan and Mike got hot and heavy the night Mrs. Huber was murdered)

Number of presents Carlos has bought Gabrielle: 3 (a Maserati; a $15,000 necklace; white-gold jewelry in a red box)

Number of presents John has given Gabrielle: 1 (a rose)

Number of times Lynette has yelled at her kids: 5

Number of plumbing jobs Mike the plumber has taken on: 2

Number of times we’ve seen John mowing the lawn: 3

Number of starring roles for kitchen appliances: 2 (the measuring cup that got charred in the fire; the blender used to kill Mrs. Huber)

Number of dead people on the show: 4 (Mary Alice Young; Dana; Mrs. Huber; the mystery woman in the chest)