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CELEB-ITAPHS

Getting grave for Halloween, stars tell us what their headstones should say

“DRINK UP, ON ME.” AND MY TOMBSTONE WOULD HAVE A TAP AND A KEG COMING OUT OF IT.

—CARSON DALY

“PLEASE, PLEASE MAKE SURE I’M DEAD.”

—JOAN RIVERS

“HE WAS KINDA FUNNY.”

—CHRIS ROCK

“NO OSCARS, BUT AT LEAST I HAVE A GAME NAMED AFTER ME.”

—KEVIN BACON

“I TOLD YOU I WAS SICK.”

—AMBER TAMBLYN

“YOUR PRETTY FACE IS GOING TO HELL.”

—JOHNNY KNOXVILLE

“THE GIRL WHO TAUGHT JANET JACKSON THE SNAKE.”

PAULA ABDUL

I READ THIS SOMEWHERE: “WHEN I DIE, I DONT WANT MY BODY TO BE PERFECT, I WANT IT TO LOOK LIKE I SLID INTO THE GRAVE SHOUTING, WHAT A RIDE!”

—ANTHONY LAPAGLIA