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HE APPEARED ON CUE: Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio, who plays Tom Cruise‘s girlfriend in The Color of Money, admits she was shy about filming a scene in which she stands in a bathroom topless. That’s because there was a surprise in the script. “I thought it would just be me, with Cruise on the bed in the room looking the other way,” she explains. “All of a sudden I see the reflection of Paul Newman in the mirror looking at me. I said, ‘You mean I have to do this in front of Paul Newman?’ Paul was an incredible sport. He stared right at my eyes.”

AND CAN WRITE A BOOK ABOUT IT LATER: Her marriage to Watergate sleuth Carl Bernstein left her with a bad case of Heartburn, and Nora Ephron still sounds a tad bitter on the subject of men. Speaking in Miami Beach at a symposium on stress and the changing American family, Ephron noted, “Marriage is the hardest thing in the world—I know, having failed at two of them.” She suggested that men still don’t take on their share of domestic duties. “Men cook more [now], and we all know why. It is the only interesting household task. Getting down and scrubbing the floor is done by women, or by women they’ve hired.” The author-screenwriter and mother of two sons also put forth her own definition of a successful parent. That is someone, she says, “who raises a child who grows up and is able to pay for her or his own psychoanalysis.”

FOLLOWING FORM TO THE LETTER: For those Americans in the nuptial-planning stages contemplating a remake of Andy and Fergie’s royal wedding, Judith Martin, the excruciatingly amusing Miss Manners, has some advice. “Don’t,” commands the etiquette expert who has made a videotape, Miss Manners on Weddings (For better, not worse). “A royal wedding is a major national tourist pageant. Trying to style private weddings like that is like trying to make your college graduation look like a coronation.” Miss M did quibble with the Duchess of York’s dress, alluding to The Scarlet Letter: “I didn’t care for the big A on her train,” she says. (The A was for Andrew.) “I think that gave Americans with a literary background rather a hoot.”

ADMIT IT, YOU REALLY MISS HIM: He’s no longer broadcasting sports on TV. But to hear Howard Cosell tell it—and tell it and tell it and tell it—he and his mouth are still very much in demand. “They wanted me on three episodes of Moonlighting,” says Cosell. “I respect that show, but I wouldn’t do it because it involved boxing, and I’ll never be identified with boxing again.” Instead Cosell is negotiating to return to the air on Showtime with Cosell on Campus, a non-sports-oriented talk fest taped at various colleges. It’s not network, but it beats other offers made to Cosell. “Hollywood Squares wanted me to go on, but I didn’t want to do it,” he says. “The show bores me.”

SHE’S GOTTA HAVE IT OUT: At a UCLA seminar on comedy, Whoopi Goldberg turned serious when asked about black director Spike Lee’s published criticism of her. Lee, whose low-budget sex romp She’s Gotta Have It is this season’s comedy sleeper, suggested that Goldberg was a black who is trying to look white with her blue-tinted contact lenses. “I would caution Spike Lee to think about his own feelings about being black,” says Whoopi, who was ticked off by Lee’s remarks. “If I can have green eyes today and blue eyes tomorrow, so be it. People do this whole trip about black; I’m not interested in that. My answer to Spike is I hope everything goes well. But stay off my eye color because if I want to change it I will.”