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Celebrity Siri

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“Where can I buy a pair of sweatpants?”

I found 15 butcher shops-11 of them are fairly close to you.

“Who should I date next?”

I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that.

“I’ve got a serious case of the munchies; where’s the closest place I can get some Funyuns, donuts, Chex Mix, brownies and Pop Rocks?”

Here are directions to Woody Harrelson’s house-he lives 7.5 miles from you.

“What’s going on this Friday?”

I can’t find any meetings on your calendar for Friday-or any other day for a very long time.

“How can I keep my clothes from falling off during a fox-trot?”

Let me check that for you … okay … how about a craft store that sells double-sided tape?