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Beyond Belief!

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What possessed DARYL HANNAH to go out in London last December wearing “everything she’s ever owned?” wonders PEOPLE’S Steven Cojocaru. “She looks like an usher at a Grateful Dead concert.”

“It’s Camilla Parker Bowles!” exclaims a momentarily confused Cojocaru about ANDY DICK. The comedian arrived at last fall’s VH1/Vogue Fashion Awards clad in “a little something I found in the closet,” he said.

Coming soon to a theater near you, the Transylvanian production of The Little Mermaid, starring COURTNEY LOVE (partying at a Manhattan fund-raiser in June) in what may have begun as a Hefty bag.

MARTHA PLIMPTON was aptly dressed for the opening night of Broadway’s One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest in April. “She’s paired leopard skin with plaid and a faux flower,” observes Cojocaru. “I feel like I’m in the middle of a thrift shop. And look! She has a portable wicker chair with her too.”

Will belly dance for couscous: At the LA premiere of Cast Away in December, MARIA CONCHITA ALONSO “is dressed for the Moroccan version of Hee Haw,” declares Cojocaru. “But one shouldn’t even wear this to a square dance in Marrakesh.”

The PEOPLE panel is stunned by CHRISTINA AGUILERA (in Mara Hoffman) at the Blockbuster awards in April. Says Cojocaru: “This proves it’s never a good idea to get dressed near a paper shredder.”